what's going on.

I am really bad at titles.

I started the acupuncture, and it turns out I am all kinds of fvcked up. It would've been pretty cool if she had actually said "Yep. You are all kinds of fucked up. Welcome."

She looked at my tongue, took my pulse, and palpated my abdomen and neck and shoulders for soreness. This has caused me to apply the same zeal to the color, shape and coating of my tongue that I used to apply to early pg symptoms. I palpate my abdomen as much as I used to poke my boobies. I'm not kidding. I must check about 10 times a day. That's probably not doing me any good. If it did, I would already have a child.

I don't know how i feel about the acupuncture just yet. Part of me thinks it's working, I feel less anxious, but not all the time. My I.B.S. is somewhat better, but not as good as it used to be when I had less stress. (And a considerably terrible diet.) I am going to definitely give it more time, this is only my second week. It is sooo relaxing, although sometimes it hurts when she places the needles. She said that's where I have stagnation. Apparently, I have a lot of that. Stagnation is caused in part by unfulfilled desires. Hmph. I might have some of those too. I've been reading The I.nfertility Cur.e, so I am trying to cut things out of my diet that might make my problem worse. Unfortunately, they are all things that taste really good.

I pretty much don't like many vegetables. Or brown rice. Or chicken. If I could, I would live on diary and refined carbs punctuated with protein offered by way of a cheeseburger. Oh, and co.ke and coffee. And vodka martinis with extra olives.

These days, I am trying to stuff as many veggies down my throat as I can, and considerably less of the bad stuff. I think the first thing I will do once I have a child is order some S.onic. Maybe. I don't think I can mix a drink while still in the maternity ward. I assume they frown on that kind of thing?

We had our consult with a new RE today. Henceforth, he will be known as Dr. Good.

Other options considered for names:
1. Dr. Lowtalk
2. Dr. New
3. Dr. Calmdemeanor
4. Dr. Reallyexplainsstuffwell
5. Dr. Thorough

Yeah. I liked Dr. Good the best too. It's simple, and gets to the point of why we liked him.

Dr. Good and his office staff were roughly 100 times more professional, soothing, and downright calming than my previous RE's office. He went over my entire chart (apparently, it was the longest they'd ever gotten by fax, still not sure if this was a backhanded complement or just an observation of my screwed upness, but anyway, anecdotally interesting), explaining what he would do and why, and what everything meant, and what our odds were if we proceed with IVF. Very thorough, very professional, great sense of humor. Talked to us like we had brains. It was truly refreshing and we felt that IVF with him would be, dare I say, not as anxiety inducing as I feared. We are definitely going with his practice. He was supportive of acupuncture and wanted me to continue with it. They actually tell their patients to use it to manage stress. All and all, it made us feel SO much better about the whole process, and instead of having a huge sense of dread about the whole thing, I can't wait to get started. It will be awhile though, because of the whole money issue. I just love insurance that doesn't cover much.

Wow. I feel pretty good.