Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Wow.

First, I have to to thank the oneliner for the shout out. Much appreciated, becuase I actually am admitting I need support.
All of the comments have been more help than you know. For the last year or so, I have been quite the lurker, reading many of your blogs, never really needing or feeling like I had much to write about, but how things do change.

So, it honestly is the strangest feeling, scheduling a time to have someone remove a life that's already died, from you. Sorry, I know that's blunt, but it is an infertility blog, after all - if you can't say it here, then our husbands would have to listen, and well, sometimes quiet is better.

I did go to work today, which was the best thing I could've done. I am a teacher, and of course I didn't tell my kids the news. I just said I'd be out to take care of some things. They were interested, sure, and dare I say even a bit concerned. I don't know, maybe it was my tone, or maybe I was a little too pale today. So for about 2 minutes, they were sweet angels.

And then, it was back to the regular preteen behavior.

Which put it all in perspective. This is a huge deal for us, our close friends and family. But in the big picture, life really does just go on with or without you. And in a strange way, it was comforting to realize the monotony and the predicitability of it all, and if you don't find a way to hang on for the ride, it's going to keep on keepin' on.

8 comments:

Kath said...

Dear Tipsymarie, I am so very sorry for your loss.

Wishing you a quick and painless D&C, and a good recovery. I'll be thinking of you and wishing you every kind of healing.

Nicole said...

I am so so very very sorry for your loss. But, I am glad that you have chosen to write about it here. We will be here for you when you need to vent, scream, cry, or even laugh. OK? I am sending you lots of positive thoughts and meditations and wishing you a quick and painless D&C. Healing thoughts are on their way to you. Hugs.

serenity said...

Came here via the Oneliner.

I am so very sorry for your loss... and wishing you peace and love.

*hug*

Jess said...

Praying for you, dear. I came via The Oneliner. Just wanted to say I'm sorry and I hope that things will provide answers sooner rather than later and that you can be holding a healthy baby asap.

Baby Blues said...

Sorry for your loss. Be strong.
Came here through Melissa. I also have PCOS. Hopefully embarking on IUI#3 soon.
Just know that we're here for you.

Heather said...

I hope you have no physical pain through this...I'm sure there is enough pain as there is.

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm thinking about you.

The Town Criers said...

Came here by way of the Oneliner. I'm so sorry that you're going through this right now. Simply wanted to welcome you to the blogosphere.

I added you to my blogroll under "general IF" but can move you to another category if you'd wish. Hang in there. Sending good thoughts your way right now.

Suze said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I have been lurking myself for the past two months: the oneliner, my dear watson, smarshy, and inconceivable. This community has helped me to heal and more importantly to hope. I wish both of these for you.