What a last few days. I wanted to wait to update until I had a clearer picture of what's going on in there.
Monday (9dt3dt) I couldn't take it anymore. I had to go to the drugstore to pick up my M.etformin and had to go inside to get some lip balm. If I could've gone through the drive thru I think I would've been ok. Of course, I chose to walk down the aisle where things like tampons, pads and - oh yes! those things - are kept. In a haste, I bought a box of generic tests. I thought I could sneak a test once home without D knowing (he is anti testing early) but whaddaya know, he is HOME. At like 5:00. I can count on one hand the times he's been home that early. He saw them in the bag and gave me this disapproving look. Undeterred, I tested.
It was positive almost immediately, and very visible but still light. In the afternoon. 3 days before my beta.
I didn't take one Tuesday.
Wednesday morning, it was darker, but it was in the morning.
Thursday morning, it was maybe slightly darker than Wednesday, but not by much.
My beta on Thursday (12dp3dt) was 257.
My progesterone was "well over 40, and we don't take a measurement over 40", as the doctor said when he called - I mean, WTF? I need to know that number - and my estrodiol was +2,000 which is like insane freakishly high. So, I am down to one estrace tablet a day instead of two and stay on 1cc of PIO a day.
Today, I went in for my repeat beta. It needed to be 514 to double within 48 hours. OF COURSE, in true tipsymarie fashion, it was 492. Just shy of doubling. OF COURSE I was feeling confident and ok with that first number only to get this news today. I know rationally it could still be ok, but I would just like some peace of mind if not for a little while. I go back next week for another beta.
One thing I've already considered is that both implanted and one did not make it, hence the high first beta and would also explain the almost but not quite double for the second beta.
Please, please let this be ok.
*Speaking of an IVF roller coaster, how about the trains shaped like giant sperm? And a cave along part of the tracks shaped like a uterus? Classy, no?
Updated to add:
Sorry to get all whiny titty baby on you all. I realize we are very lucky to have even gotten this far. After flinging myself about in a fit of ridiculous self pity and incessant worry all day long I came to the conclusion that it is very, very early and this is to be expected. Please.let.it.be.ok.