When I started this blog, I struggled with whether or not to allow anonymous posting. I decided to allow it, mainly so if someone out there wanted to comment without starting a blogger account they could.
I received this gem of a comment this week on a blog entry from way back. You need to read it before you read her thoughtful and sensitive comment.
I would wonder if you are really being honest with yourself about your emotions. If you are truly happy, then I would wonder if you really cared very much about your own miscarriage. Is it possible that you were ambivalent about pregnancy to begin with and that the loss of the baby didn't really affect you that deeply? While others laud your attitude, I have to say that it raises red flags for me and strikes me as disingenous. Not that everyone who suffers a loss has to turn into a bitter, hateful hag -- not at all! But the complete absence of sorrow in your post leads me to conclude that you probably really ARE happy for her, and that is is because you really weren't too devastated by the loss of your own pregnancy.
I have to wonder - did she bother to read my numerous other posts? I haven't checked, but my guess is she did a google search and somehow landed on this post. In her haste to pass judgment on someone who has suffered a miscarriage, she undoubtedly did not bother to read anything else.
I'm not sure - is it worse that she DID, and still thought that I was a cold uncaring bitch, or she DIDN'T, and thinks that based on about 3 minutes of thinking?
I'm not so much angry with her response as disappointed. It makes me sad to know that someone out there read this and assumed that I didn't care about my baby, one that would've been born this week.
I mean, come ON. Enough already. Really. I'm good.
PS Have I told you guys about my mom's suggestion that I use my sister for an egg donor? And I told her I didn't think that was a good idea? And she said "Why not? I think it's a great idea!" And I said, "No, really. D and I think it just isn't. We've thought about it and if we need to go that route, we prefer it to be anonymous." And she said "Well, at least think about it some more. Your sister would love to do this for you." (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Well, that post is coming soon. I'm working on it.